I Matter

            William Butler Yeats’ poem, “ An Irish Airman Foresees His Death” stands out above all the other poems that I could have chosen because I feel and may be able to relate to the other’s connection to the poem’s meaning. The poem brings to light the mind-set of an Irish airman who is fighting another’s fight. He fights and risks his life for people he cares little about. “Those that I fight I do not hate/Those that I guard I do not love” (Yeats 3-4). He fights for a reason other than the usual, love or hate. He fights for a reason little to no one fights for. He fights to be a part of something. He fights to be part of a community. He risks his life in battle only feel like he accomplished something in his life. I had a similar feeling last year during times of extreme stress.

Just like Yeats, I have felt like I am living a meaningless life. My feelings aren’t as exagerated as the poem foretells for Yeats, but I have felt my trivial mark on the human race. During times of stress, I have thought about of the meaningless of life and how stress has consumed me, taking me to a place of self-doubt and a desire to mean something. I only feel these intense emotions when my inner strength is pushed to its max. Otherwise I feel like I can and have made a difference in my life and in the lives of others around me. My feelings are confused and wild during times of extreme stress but the feelings of Yeats’ are always with him and always wild.

Yeats is always in a whirlwind of emotions and insecurity. He has little self-confidence and feels useless. He believes his life to have been useless thus far, and he believes it to be useless for years to come. “The years to come seemed waste of breath,/A waste of breath the years behind” (Yeats 14-15). Yeats wants his life to mean something. He wants to help someone even if he doesn’t care about them. He wants to mean something to his community even if he has to die to leave a mark. He wants to leave a mark even if that mark is drowned by the marks of all the other soldiers. He wants to make something of himself and to matter.

Bravery Comes from Within

            Kurt Vonnegut’s short story, “Harrison Bergeron”, has shown me that individuality and one’s uniqueness comes from within and can’t be hidden or suppressed by anyone or anything forever. I have learned that nothing can hold you back except your self-doubt and self-insecurities. Harrison Bergeron’s story “tells of the ironic shortcomings of a seemingly perfect man who dies in the hands of his suppressive American government” (“The Ironic End” Blog Post). Harrison Bergeron is born into a world where his uniqueness and greatness are looked down upon and punished. Equipped with the knowledge that I have gained from reading this short story, I can improve my life and show the world whom I really am.

From reflecting upon the hardships in Harisson Bergeron’s life, I have come to believe that I can apply his bravery and sense of pride to improve my life; and I have. My true self has shown at school as much as it does at home because I want nothing to interfere with my individuality, and I want to show the world all that I have to offer. I allow no one to block or cover up my inner beauty, and I glow with a shine only I can achieve anywhere I go. After reading this short story, I have come to understand that bravery is not just saving another’s life or risking your life for another’s, but bravery can come from you doing what you believe is right and trying to express yourself no matter how others perceive you or try and push you down.

Harrison Bergeron has not only tried to show his inner beauty and uniqueness but has also to help others express themselves and ignore the suppressive government. “In Harrison Bergeron’s world, equality is treated as the focus of civilization, and through suppression and handicaps, people are forced to be average and equal” (“The Ironic End” Blog Post). People are being forced into the doldrums and into living as equals with no individual qualities that separates them to another. Harrison Bergeron grows stronger and stronger during his life both physically and emotionally. In the end, Harrison Bergeron is shot and murdered on live television for the world to see because he spoke out against the government, tore off his handicaps, and showed the world (only for a second) the true him. He showed the world the qualities that make him Harrison Bergeron. The worst part of all is the fact that Harrison Bergeron’s parents were too afraid to tear off their handicaps like their son, and when Harrison Bergeron’s mother sees his death on t.v., her husband asks, “‘You been crying?’ he said to Hazel. / ‘Yup,’ she said, / ‘What about?’ he said. / ‘I forget,’ she said” (Vonnegut 6).

Community Changes Lives

The idea of one fighting against a community to stand up for traditions and what he believes is right is promenately shown in Chinua Achebe’s novel, Things Fall Apart. The main character, Okonkwo, is praised and honored during the beginning of the novel but ends up killing himself to show his community that he would rather die than have his morals, beliefs, and traditions ripped away by the foreigners’ religion. His morals and beliefs included his desires to keep his traditions and hold a sense of community. The ideas Okonkwo died for resonate with me in a way only a few books have. It has made a serious impact in on my actions and my decisions to help others in my community.

Before reading this novel, I would help out my community whenever I could if the opportunity presented itself. Just like for service learning, I would never have gone out of my way to help younger students receive a better education, but because of Service Learning, I had the opportunity to help my community by doing something that is always exciting and self-rewarding. In regards to Things Fall Apart, Okonkwo’s sense of leading and being part of his community drove him protect the traditions of the community instead of changing with his community. Okonkwo’s ideas have always been with him no matter what ever since he was born. The true desire and obligation to help the community no matter the cost was the impulse Okonkwo was born with. Unfortunately, I was not born like that, but I have discovered a likeness for serving others and priding myself on being a part of my community.

This strong sense of community that I have recently discovered has given me a joy that brings a smile not only on my face but also on the faes of others. After reading Things Fall Apart, my obligation to help others and improve my community has grown exponentially bigger. I have noticed myself helping classmates more and more when they need help and helping my neighbors in any little task to make their lives easier. Okonkwo strives to find any major task to help the Ibo people thrive. “Okonkwo represents the Umuofia’s sense of community and is full with pride and confidence” (Things Fall Apart essay 2). Okonkwo’s pride in his community impacts my life enough for me to completely change my thoughts every day and instead of focusing on my own struggles and successes, I focus on the mistakes of others and trying to improve their lives.

Finding a Community

Fyodor Dostoevsky’s popular Russian novel, Notes From Underground, is a perplexing story about one man who is trying to fit in to a community and figure out who he is. The Underground Man is in a constant struggle to find others like him and fit in to a community. He has no one like him because his community has died out years ago. The Underground Man, “has suffered all his life and has only recently begun to accept and enjoy the pain of suffering” (“Pain is Fun” Blog Post). The only community that the Underground Man believes himeslf to be a part of is the community of pain and suffering. Personally, I have not experienced what he is going through and have always felt like I am part of a community no matter how large or small. Although, I am empathetic towards the Underground Man’s feelings of having a community you are a part of slowly corrode away and dissapear leaving you having to find another community or try to reform the old community. I had to find another community to become a part of, whereas the Underground Man decided to try and revive an old community which was dying more and more every day no matter how hard the Underground Man worked to bring it back.

Before reading Notes From Underground, I had the preconceived idea that all people belonged in a community and loved their community. I had this idea because I had always had good friends and loved the people around me. Only after reading this novel did I realize that some people struggle in finding others with similar thoughts and habits in a solid community. The Underground Man is one of the people that tries and can’t fit into a community and uses every excuse, including pain, to create and join a community because his community has died years before. This novel has changed my perspective about people who struggle to find others with similar ideas.

In my life, I treat people who having a bad day or who are sitting alone differently than I used to, and now I try and help them by introducing them to my community. Dostoevsky has created an idea in my mind of how some can try and try to find a community and never find one without the consistant and supportive help from others in another community.